A MESSAGE TO FUTURE GENERATIONS

It is over. This pain is bittersweet. This was a long lonely road. This was a story of a Father and his son. I’m the son. It opened my heart and mind in many unfathomable ways. Most of it came from the intimate connection I had with my parents. They became like little children and, I became the parent, trying to get them to eat, toileting, giving them baths and helping them get dressed. A Mother and Father develop an intimacy with their children while doing these things for them while they are helpless. And a son or daughter can develop the same intimacy back while doing these things for them, while they are helpless. This is the circle of life. This is a major life changing experience that most people ignorantly throw in the trash. Some cultures are better at this than many Americans are. One of the most surprising things to me was to recognize that not everyone understood or even saw the value of this or why it was so important to do. To help someone who does nothing to help themselves is one thing, but to help someone whose whole life was of service to others is a different story. To me, doing this was absolutely necessary if I was to be a man of love and honor. It was a defining moment for me. I gave up my own apartment and my freedom. I lost my income as a nurse even though I was still doing the exact same work I used to get paid for and, now, I had to be responsible for their care 24 hours a day while providing most of it myself. I remembered that our parents gave up their lives to give me, and all their children, life and they sacrificed over and over and over to do all that they could. All they ever wanted was to have us feel loved and to have a happy life. They worked hard and sacrificed in so many ways for their country, their community, their church, their family and the entire community. At the end of their lives they deserved to be loved, honored and appreciated. They deserved to be comforted and listened to while they were making their transition. I used my professional skills and was innovative and creative to start doing some work I could do from home because I couldn’t leave them alone for long periods of time. At the end of my life, I will remember that I kept an intimate promise I made to my Father and honored his dying wish. I held my Mother in my arms until she left this world. Now they are gone from this physical plane and I don’t see them here anymore. The connection I made to where I came from has given me wisdom and a complete sense of inner peace. I celebrate the lives of my parents and am proud of who they were in this life. I’m happy I held them in my arms during their last days. This website is a love story of a man and a woman, of how they lived their lives and how they died. And the essence of who they created in me. What do their lives have to do with anything in your life, or in the lives of any of us? It is a momentary glance into the brilliant reality of who we really are, of who is living life in your body. In this still small piece of humanity lies the Holy Grail of all that is possible in this life, for how we live our lives and what we can create by owning our own soul. These simple truths and standards are the core of the greatest accomplishment a human can achieve. It is my story too, because I was privileged and honored to intimately spend the last 5 years of their lives with them. If you were to look into our house at that time, there was an old man and woman and their energies were leaving this physical plane. Many people only saw that. What I saw was fading physical forms releasing powerful spiritual beings into the universe. I saw deep love and honest devotion. That spirit was vibrantly alive but most people couldn’t even see or hear it. I learned about life and I learned about myself. We all strive for happiness in our lives and many times we miss the most important things. My Father put his hand on my forehead and prayed to God while blessing me before he died in a deep and intimate way as he thanked me for taking care of his woman while she was dying, for letting him be with her in their own home until that day. I hope these stories will be a blessing for you and I hope it will invigorate the deep search for truth, meaning and love in the hearts of anyone who wants to find the holy grail. I gained a treasure far greater than any shiny rocks could ever bear and I want to share it with you. So, come on this journey with me as I send my love to you too. I don’t know who you are or what your life is like but if you seek with all your heart for pure love and if you are simply delighted when children and old people laugh then you will be my true brothers and sisters and I will be your brother or uncle too. In these dark days some people are clear about love and honor and others simply have no love left in them. If you have love left in you, I’m looking for you. You will enjoy this story and it will bring you peace. If you don’t, you might just assume I’m a crazy lunatic. If I am, I am proud to be! Darry Bob

030119 It is over. This pain is bittersweet. This was a long lonely road. This was a story of a Father and his son. I’m the son. It opened my heart and mind in many unfathomable ways. Most of it came from the intimate connection I had with my parents. They became like little children and, I became the parent, trying to get them to eat, toileting and giving them baths and helping them get dressed. A Mother and Father develop an intimacy with their children while doing these things for them while they are helpless. And a son or daughter can develop the same intimacy back while doing these things for them, while they are helpless. This is the circle of life. This is a major life changing experience that most people ignorantly throw in the trash. Some cultures are better at this than many Americans are. One of the most surprising things to me was to recognize that not everyone understood or even saw the value of this. To help someone who does nothing to help themselves is one thing, but to help someone whose whole life was of service to others is a different story. To me, doing this was absolutely necessary if I was to be a man of love and honor. It was a defining moment for me. I gave up my own apartment and my freedom. I lost my income as a nurse even though I was still doing the exact same work I used to get paid for and, now, I had to be responsible for their care 24 hours a day while providing most of it myself. But, I remembered that our parents gave up their lives to give me, and all their children, life and they sacrificed over and over and over to do all that they could. All they ever wanted was to have us feel loved and to have a happy life. They worked hard and sacrificed in so many ways for their country, their community, their church, their family and the entire community. At the end of their lives they deserved to be loved, honored and appreciated. They deserved to be comforted and listened to while they were making their transition. I was shocked and in disbelief that I met with opposition and disregard in the most unexpected places and from the people I most thought most would appreciate what I did for our parents. I didn’t fully see it clearly until 5 years after my parents had both died. It took a long time for me to admit it to myself. This was sad. I used my professional skills and was innovative and creative to start doing some work I could do from home because I couldn’t leave them alone for long periods of time. I was with my parents every day and I saw them suffer and I asked for help, not only financially but to give them emotional support. That was not forthcoming. Some siblings threw in a few trinkets and then wanted to tell me how to do it. My elder sister understood and she did all she could, even while enduring a double lung transplant. She wanted to do all she could, with all her heart to care for her parents and she constantly told me how much she loved me and thanked me consistently for taking care of her parents for her. Not only did the others make it harder for me, it hurt me deeply to see how it hurt my parents. All our parents ever did was love their children and want a better life for them but when they got old they were, for the most part, abandoned and ignored. The tokens that they did give were so very cheap compared to what our parents gave to all of us. That was sad. I witnessed it and I saw the sadness in their eyes and voices. This was totally uncalled for. Imagine how it felt to me, to have given up everything, to short circuit my own plans and goals, to be getting up in the middle of the night every night to care for them only to be totally misunderstood discarded and falsely accused. Some family members thought I moved into my parents house because I was needy and I wanted to abuse them. This is a total, flat out lie they are telling themselves, without a doubt. I can prove it with facts and testimonials from those who saw and appreciated what I did do and, most of all, with a video testimonial from my Father before he died. While I was creative and working hard to build a business from home they imagined that I only moved into their house as an opportunity to do this. I worked day and night to take care of them and squeezed in every minute I could to try to make money for the family and prepare for my future after my parents died. I don’t think that was selfish, I thought it was innovative and creatively ambitious. I could have felt sorry for myself drank, smoked pot, played games and watched TV but I got to work! When the going gets tough, the tough get going. Many of my family members didn’t recognize the immense amount of work and sacrifice it took to do this. It seems to me, that if they loved their parents, like they said they do, then they would have been so glad and appreciative that I gave Dad his dying wish and that I comforted their mother when she couldn’t communicate anymore. They have, in essence, told me that my life, my needs and my lover were not important to them. That was a profound break of heart in a most savage way and I will never understand why. Those who gave me this pain and rejection have deepened my mature love because I refuse to be a victim to it or to resent anyone. It has given me some insights into some very valuable standards and has put me through a most intense workout a spirit can have in the spiritual gym of character development. When the people you love the most turn on you it takes a solid connection with your own faith to remain true to beautiful and loving standards. I was introduced to my own power and even though I have been emotionally exiled I am committed to always be present to love and my own ability to deliver a valuable contribution in the world, no matter what, and I am finding a new family of people who live in love and honor. I have come to learn that family is not shared DNA. It is those who understand right principles, live their lives searching for truth and the standards of love that are honorable and based on each persons responsibility to do all they can to own their own life and be rewarded for the contribution they make in the world. I have learned that the best way to prosper is to deliver valuable products and services that fill real needs for others. I realized, as a solid fact, that the more I focus on this, the more that money flows to me. Money is power to make a difference in the world, if one is moral and honorable. As I practice this higher consciousness I have great expectations for the future. This realization may not have come if I wasn’t faced with an impossible circumstance that forced me to dig deep into my own heart and soul. This emotional exile has, in fact, given me great freedom and access to higher levels of understanding how to live life as a strong man of character and integrity. At the end of my life, I won’t remember any of the small mindedness, but I will remember that I kept an intimate promise I made to my Father and honored his dying wish. I held my Mother in my arms until she left this world. Now they are gone from this physical plane and I don’t see them here anymore. The connection I made to where I came from has given me wisdom and a complete sense of inner peace. I celebrate the lives of my parents and am proud of who they were in this life. I’m happy I held them in my arms during their last days. Today is a brand new day. All of my life has been to introduce me to today. I am starting on new adventures and look forward to what’s next in my life. And, I’m just getting started! It is a brilliant glowing energy that is massing up like a cosmic expansion that will soon explode in a burst of brightness and joy! I am stopping for a moment to remember where I came from and to appreciate all that I have been given in this life. The book I am writing is a story of a pure and strong man and woman and it is also the story of heroes. I am writing it for myself. Yes, I do want to honor them and I do want to share some insights, but this is being written for me. I have to know that I am not crazy and that it is never wrong to love and honor, even when it flies in the face of practical considerations of those who live without faith, initiative or love of any kind. In our world, the old age is dying and a new one is coming into view. The old age does not want to die but the light of truth and love are slowly putting it to rest. For a while, we are living in period of turmoil and doubt because we have lost our pillars of trust. In fact, many people will hate you if you stand for this kind of love. And they will hate you in the name of love but they don’t even know what love is. We don’t know what honor is and what standards and values are and why they even matter. The core elements of a man or woman are found in what they are. Creators. I know this true way of being will rise up from the ashes of our present days. It will soar into our existence in spite of all the divisions our politics, religions and transformational groups give us. In fact, it is this period of chaos out of which the seeds of truth and love will thrive. We will finally see that there is no one, no group ‘out there’ that will fill our void. We have to fill our own void to release all the life and love we are capable of. God is not found out there, God is found in here. (‘In here’ - means inside yourself) Being nice and polite will end while being honest, open, strong, capable, creative and truly caring by choice will take the lead. Our love will empower each of us to stand up into the total essence of who we truly are. And, we will stand up into our bright spirits and lead with a vision of what’s possible for humanity and all living things. This book is a love story of a man and a woman, of how they lived their lives and how they died. And the essence of who they created in me. What do their lives have to do with anything in your life, or in the lives of any of us? It is a momentary glance into the brilliant reality of who we really are, of who is living life in your body. In this still small piece of humanity lies the Holy Grail of all that is possible in this life, for how we live our lives and what we can create by owning our own soul. These simple truths and standards are the core of the greatest accomplishment a human can achieve. It is my story too, because I was privileged and honored to intimately spend the last 5 years of their lives with them. If you were to look into our house at that time, there was an old man and woman and their energies were leaving this physical plane. Many people only saw that. What I saw was fading physical forms releasing powerful spiritual beings into the universe. I saw deep love and honest devotion. That spirit was vibrantly alive but most people couldn’t even see or hear it. I learned about life and I learned about myself. We all strive for happiness in our lives and many times we miss the most important things. My Father put his hand on my forehead and prayed to God while blessing me before he died in a deep and intimate way as he thanked me for taking care of his woman while she was dying, for letting him be with her in their own home until that day. I hope these lessons will be a blessing for you and I hope that it will invigorate the deep search for truth, meaning and love in the hearts of anyone who wants to find the holy grail. I gained a treasure far greater than any shiny rocks could ever bear and I want to share it with you. So, come on this journey with me as I send my love to you too. I don’t know who you are or what your life is like but if you seek with all your heart for pure love and if you are simply delighted when children and old people laugh then you will be my true brothers and sisters and I will be your brother or uncle too. In these dark days some people are clear about love and honor and others simply have no love left in them. If you have love left in you, I’m looking for you. You will enjoy this story and it will bring you peace. If you don’t, you might just assume I’m a crazy lunatic. If I am, I am proud to be! Darry Bob

A MESSAGE TO FUTURE GENERATIONS